Petri Patriarchs
The king of germs eats the whole dish
they’re grrrrrrduckstack!
We hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this concerns public safety. Unfortunately: The Earth has been infected with spirals. Before, earth just stayed in place, and the spirals were just the sun and stuff going around us, but now earth’s spiraling too. Its spinning around the sun, and its spinning while its spinning.
HERE’S WHAT TO EXPECT: Everyone is about to get very dizzy. There’s no way to rotate on so many different axis’s1 like that without getting dizzy, your inner ear is going to have no freaking clue what’s going on, its going to be like a dog with fireworks, let me tell you.
Secondly, we’re going to start having seasons. So there’s going to be some growing plants, and some dead plants, at different times of the year, but its going to be for everyone now. You can think of this as “weather socialism”, because everyone’s going to get a little slice of the good weather.
Third, I think centrifugal force is going to throw everyone off of the planet into outer space. Gravity is cool and all, but its not that strong. I mean, you can just jump. You can beat gravity with your own muscles. The earth ways like a bajillion tons and is going to be spinning very fast, there’s no way IMO.
Sermon: The State of the Natmen
that’s supposed to rhyme with “nation”2
Every so often, I’ll talk to strangers about dating. By far, the most common complaint women have is “men never ask.” This means the modern dating environment is so bad that a man taking initiative to ask a woman out, if she is interested in relationships, will by itself set him apart as a 99th percentile man, because there seem to be just a ton of women wanting to get asked out or even approached and instead they’re relegated to dating apps. This creates the illusion that they’re “putting themselves out there” when in reality they’re just going to work and going home every day and hoping something falls into their laps, which is coincidentally what guys are doing too.
It has become clear that the prospect of sex is totally inadequate for motivating men to pursue women. This is probably shocking to hear for most older people who remember a time where pursuing sex was basically the number one thing guys do, but it is the truth, men aren’t interested in dating, and it is not getting better. Latter-Day Saint missionaries get frequently rotated between cities and companions, and I had 13 different mission companions. Counting them up, 5 of them have not had a girlfriend into their 30s, with a couple more in similar boats but engaged by chance. So that’s roughly a 40-50% dropout rate among Latter-Day Saints. And I’m a Millennial, that was 10 years ago, the situation for Zoomers is going to be the apocalypse. And that’s inside the church, with all the singles wards and structure and incentives and matchmaking the church institutionally provides. The situation outside of the church is much, much worse. If you are a Latter-Day Saint reading this3, understand: Gentiles live in hell45.
The whole marital institution collapsed in a single generation. “The calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets” indeed. You could blame this on unrealistic expectations due to pornography. You could blame this on unrealistic apathy on women’s end, leaning towards obesity and without sex appeal. You could blame this on cost of living and coffee date prices. But if you ask men, and according to my spreadsheet I’ve asked about 100 men at this point, they will just tell you: the reason men would rather jerk off at home rather than deal with modern women is they don’t want to get divorce raped.
With the institution of no-fault divorce, the landscape changed. Marriage used to require proven wrongdoing to dissolve- now you can do everything right, or even just mostly right- and still get divorced. Now people can file divorce just because they feel like it, because they fell out of love. Love has never been a stable basis for marriage, love is based on hormones, circumstance, treatment, emotions, and your own actions, all of these wax and wane with time. This has led to a culture of both men and women seeing commitment as primarily dangerous, rather than ennobling. In this area, Latter-Day Saints have a distinct advantage, since our religion revolves around establishing commitment6, and we are constantly taught in our religious rites that commitment is one of the most godlike things you can do on this earth. However, our church is not like the Amish where we seek to be totally separated from “the world”, our people7 are just as online as anyone else, and more importantly, everyone knows someone who has been divorced, and it messed them up.
So now, girls get into endless “situationships” with guys who waste their time into their thirties and then just break up with them, not because the guy necessarily means to string them along, but because this is the only way for a guy to protect his assets. So scummy behavior is incentivized, because he knows he isn’t going to divorce her, but he has no defenses whatsoever against her divorcing him. This changes the marriage relationship- The man is not a protector and leader, but he is instead a beggar, in online terms a “simp”. No fault divorce means the husbands primary role in a marriage is that of a sycophant. Whether you feel this perspective makes sense or not, I promise you nearly every guy under 30 feels it keenly.
As long ago as 2015, 70% of divorces were initiated by women, and that number has only gone up. For college educated women, that’s 90%, though college educated women are slightly less likely to get divorced in general. This has a snowballing effect- people are losing confidence in love, and losing confidence that marriages can last. And rightly so. The state won’t protect your marriage, and neither will the church (unless you are catholic, but I don’t think they have formal discipline for this either), there’s no way to guarantee yourself. “hope we both stay aligned, forever!” is the new marriage vow. If you have ever heard a Millennial write their own vows, they say this explicitly, without exception.
This is not, particularly, downstream of feminism. Guys don’t fear “strong, independent women”, they fear building something only for it to get torn down. Every single divorce a man watches is his nightmare scenario: To put your heart into a lifes work and for it to come to naught, or even to be more harmful than good, if your kids get messed up because of it. And sure, feminism does make things more difficult. Normal male pursuit can easily be construed as sexual harassment. Most guys could probably get a girlfriend by asking out their coworkers, but the actual act of just asking a coworker out can get you written up or even fired. Men are surrounded by tik-tok vloggers making fun of men for asking them out, publicly shaming men for checking them out at the gym, AITAH threads on reddit, and how many examples of good strong marriages are there to balance this out? Even if a marriage is good and healthy, the intimacy is kept private out of respect and protection, and few will ever see or hear about it8. For young men, being paralyzed by fear is the rational response in this situation. This is the rational play.
It is possible to vet a girl for whether she is going to “werewolf” on you later. But how would these young men even know what to look for? So instead they opt for low stakes “practice” where you just live with a girl, so that you don’t have to risk anything. Unfortunately, this practice for discernment simultaneously practices commitment- by not committing. And so, noncommital cowardice becomes muscle memory. The system trains men to be scumbags and players, because this is the rational, safest bet. And divorce rape is definitely the term. Women always sue for child support. She’s no longer your wife, but you’re still her husband. The obligations only continue in one direction. The woman would excuse herself “well its for the kids!” but that’s obviously not the whole truth. If you wanted him to support the kids with his money, let him have custody, and to the extent you have custody you need to get your own job to support them, because you’re the one divorcing him. And that’s not nearly all divorce does to a man. I know more than a few guys who because of the custody arrangements and court orders, they are no longer able to leave town and seek other opportunities, locked for perhaps the next 18 years of their lives in a low paying job and social destitution. You might as well just go to prison at that point.
So men are lonely, and women are lonely, for each other, but neither can touch and connect, because by law neither can be dependable. Both have to build constant “escape hatches” leading to atrocious voting patterns for single women, atrocious mating patterns for single men, and an increasing lack of stigma around divorce as divorce becomes more and more common, to the point people simply expect marriages to fail. Like most things, the ancients actually had a number of cultural technologies to prevent this. For example, if you can’t guarantee a marriage, you can bribe it with something called a dowry, pre-emptively mitigating against losses. But all of those are avoiding the issue Christ got to the heart of: From the beginning, God created men and women to be joined together, and it was only because of the hardness of people’s hearts that Moses allowed divorcement. But we aren’t going back.
Its a thousand times easier to destroy than it is to build. We aren’t going to make divorce illegal, and the cultural force needed to revisit the issue really isn’t there. So you are going to see a “rats fleeing the sinking ship” phenomenon where people join religions for entirely cultural reasons, anywhere that seems to have the ability to exert social pressure at all. No liberal institution qualifies for this (by definition), but just faking it or insisting upon it won’t work either. And it isn’t clear which institutions will be able to provide this harbor currently. So a lot of guys are going to “wait and see how things shake out”, which means society is going to collapse first. As it stands, about 30% of women in America are never going to have children. But men aren’t interested in waste, and they aren’t going to build something with their heart and soul if its not going to last.
Women hate that men aren’t serious, that men are just playing around, but men can’t be serious even if they want to. They would just be larping, hoping the woman larps along with them. That’s obviously a cost too high for most. If you want more commitment, society needs to reward commitment. Financial incentives for staying married. Only happy couples get to vote. I don’t know. There’s no solution that’s going to be perfect, all standards marginalize someone, but we can’t stay sick like this. For men in the meantime, asking about a girl’s beliefs about commitment, divorce, and what to do when the hormones run out are a bare minimum for even beginning dating, and nobody in my generation was taught this.
The Best List Numbers In Order, Ranked
You’ve seen lists, but you’ve never seen lists like this.
Number one is the best list number by far. Its first, best, and stands undisputed at the top. No other list number compares.
Coming in at second place is definitely #2. This list number is the runner up number, and definitely deserves a round of applause!
Coming in third place is list item #3. It might not be the best, but you can tell that its still in the winners circle, and something to be proud of.
#4 is definitely the 4th place list item. It has some glaring faults, namely that it doesn’t come in the top three, but its still impressive in its own right.
If I had to pick the most average list item, it would be #5. Not great, not terrible.
coming in 6th place is number 6. It isn’t truly bad, but you know once you hit 6 that you’re truly getting into “why even bother” territory.
Seventh place definitely goes to number 7. Its not the worst, but there’s better numbers. Its mostly there as padding for the truly bad list numbers that are to come after it.
list 8 is the 8th worst. We’re talking true negative traits. Once you hit list item 8, its time to run, or at least scroll on to get to the worst numbers.
list item #9 is the second worst list number. Its bad in all sorts of ways, nobody wants it, it would be the absolute worst number of all time, if not for being somehow outclassed by the worst number.
garbage
History
The toddler blows kisses by just breathing into her hand for a while
A scene of the toddler thoughtfully bringing her brother all of his pieces of underwear he owns after he goes to the bathroom in the morning
Toddler is becoming much more communicative also. She is learning sign language, such as “please”, and if we don’t listen to her, she’ll come up and sign “please” on our chest instead of hers. She also is doing “yes” and “no.” “are you pooping” - solemn nod
Our boy was laying in bed, holding his face face in his hand with his big eyes and asks his mama “are you dreaming?” and she’s like “sure.” So he asked, “what should you dream?” And she told him, “perhaps a nice thanksgiving?” And he gently corrected her “Uh how about, you get eaten by a shark.”
My wife weighing him: “Oh good, you’re 48 pounds.” “And you’re a thousand and two pounds!” “I am not a thousand and two pounds.” “Oh sorry. I thought you were a thousand and two pounds.” thanks kid
Automatic Writing
By reverse engineering artificial intelligence, perhaps we can learn to instill intelligence into real people
Automatic Writing is a process by which the conscious mind steps back, and a person writes everything that comes into their mind, with no regard for quality or accuracy sometimes to surprising results. Unbridled by the conscious, a persons subconscious can sometimes come up with surprisingly lucid thoughts, teaching the writer about themself or helping them to approach things from new angles. Here is an example of automatic writing: fdjkro dklrbe sja r sosof wkeldfiofrhjiw cdidwqsi, afwieo bnhgf adf,a lfjotrqpweadfjewq a spfo dkfj bnbnbc dksfl qwer zavdfasf adf. afjio poij feew. asdfw, dwifou a bpopofw waa q af sfjer frew afjdfs bsdf. Aiew f, sfeowf bap sofe wapf aspj sdkad wf bvnaq
Ducksnax
Spirals
Axii?
I could write “the state of the naechemen” to get you to pronounce it right, but then it wouldn’t look anything like “nation” and would make even less sense than it already does.
The Latter-Day Saint Reading This
I would advise repeating this to yourself in the mirror multiple times a day to make sure you do not forget. Unironically.
The people doing second best seem to be Catholics, mostly due to their culture’s excessive (in a good way) stigma against divorce.
Baptism? That’s a contract. Getting ordained to the priesthood? That’s a contract. Sustaining the new Ward Hymn Picker? That’s right. A contract.
Not naming any names here, including my own name. Just “people, in general” please
How much of my own marriage to expose to readers is a real debate I have with myself sometimes. Sharing intimate things can be useful, but can also easily cross into disrespect or casualness, and respect is one of those things that makes marriages healthy in the first place.