Bonafide Side

Write your Will on a dice and let fate decide.

duckstack, best by 6/1/2026

We apologize for a missed Duckstack. Hopefully that didn’t kill anyone. That’s this one’s job.

Art: Destructo Project, on Pixabay

As far as I know, this is the most dangerous Duckstack yet. I haven’t tested it, and I have no knowledge of what it even does, let alone its potential, but who could say whether its going to explode after you read it. If it does, let me know! That would be valuable data on just how dangerous this is. If it doesn’t explode, keep a close eye on your luck, karma, or anything else weird that happens after you read it. No! Don’t walk away! Pain is weakness leaving the body! I’ll even give you a slogan afterwards: Built Duckstack Tough¹. How does that sound? Not better? Not even for bragging rights? Tough crowd.

Its Happening

Buckle up. It is here

I’ve given it a lot of thought and nobody even knows what it is. We know that it is a noun. That it refers to an object, not a person, not an animal. It is hard to define because its properties are very generic. But people are talking about it like it is obvious. Why do they think it is obvious? A generic thing is the furthest thing from obvious it gets. I just don’t get it. Nobody does. But they use it all the time. Does that seem honest? Does that seem fair? To be clear, anyone can say it, but it is far more than just a word.

Fooling God

“Why do you keep giving me your hardest trials?” “Because you are my most foolish jester”

I noticed the other day that its a little harder to get mad at my kids getting into mischief when they were having fun together doing it. The kids getting along is rare enough on its own, so them actively enjoying each other’s company actually mitigates the damage². Is there a lesson about God in this?

Joseph Smith once said “it is by unity of feeling that we obtain power with God”³. Joseph Smith once tried to translate the Book of Mormon after fighting with his wife and couldn’t, finding God wouldn’t speak to him. Then he went and apologized to his wife, and then he was able to continue translating. Prayers in marriage are qualitatively different from prayers alone, and we know that contention can drive out the spirit. By contention I don’t mean sincere heated disagreements, I mean bad-natured resentment-type contention. Your emotions play a big role in your ability to listen to God so you have to be careful with them.

In another instance in church history, some elders were trying to give someone a blessing of healing and couldn’t, and asked Joseph Smith if anything could be done. After praying about it, Joseph Smith instructed them to pray over the person in turns, until each Elder had gained a confirmation that the person would be healed. That’s a very interesting approach if you think God is a machine.

A big part of prayer is synchronizing your will and desires, for example by recognizing that you haven’t been trying to do what Christ would want you to do and turning your heart to try and be more mindful of his will. This is an active process and therefore an act of faith, as when you are praying to God you know with certainty whether you are offering mere lip service. As a parent, it is always so transparent when your kids are lying to you.

But we know God responds to faith. There was even a time in the New Testament where it said that Christ, the savior of the world, could do no miracles, because the people lacked faith. That’s another thing that sounds shocking if you think God is a machine and faith is mere mental assent. And the flipside of this is when people seem to have the favor of God while not keeping the commandments- their faith seems misplaced, but God isn’t smiting them? The answer is that they are keeping some of his laws. And possibly, the ones that are more important to God for that particular person to be keeping. Or maybe, they’re just world wise, and robotically keeping commandments doesn’t automatically grant you wisdom. Jesus said this himself, “in their generation the children of this world are wiser than the children of light.” Then he said to make friends with the mammon of unrighteousness. Why? Explicitly because, worldly wisdom translates to the next life. “Whoever can be trusted with little can be trusted with much.”

Maybe one of my kids is a rascal but he’s very trustworthy about doing household chores or whatever. As a parent, I’m going to give him the type of responsibilities he earns by being good at household chores, or if he’s good at being cute I’m going to reward him for being cute, and so on. Does God reward us for being cute? I believe he does. You can also be cute towards your spouse, there’s lots of positive behaviors out there. All of these things are acts of faith, even if not necessarily pointed directly at God. Faith is hope of things not seen, the substance of chasing possibilities. Loosely paraphrasing Hebrews 11 there.

Obedience is also its own virtue. If you imagine the church, or your household, or God, as a military- the general’s orders might be inefficient or even wrong, but group cohesion and reliability often trumps a cadet who thinks he knows better, even if he actually does. There’s appropriate channels to offer suggestions. Suggestions also usually go over better when you have a good relationship with them. I think its okay to think of God as willing to negotiate, as long as you’re sincerely willing to return the favor. I can think of a few bible stories like that.

I don’t think kindergarten is the apex of morality, I don’t think God’s number one priority is to have people “get along” or “protect the marginalized” or whatever. But I think when you put in effort to approach things in a more righteous way he rewards you for it. That includes approaching wrong things in a righteous way. One of the most God-approved moments on my mission was telling a couple who was investigating the church about Joseph Smith at 2 A.M. after we spent six hours playing magic the gathering with them on our missionary prep day.

I Was Reborn As A Duckstack Article Subsection And Now I Have Unlimited Power

bow before me mortals

At last, a second chance at life where I can do anything, and be anything, but there’s a catch, it all has to be within a duckstack section. I don’t know what that is, but I’m looking forward to rectifying all the mistakes I made in my past life and really making something of myself. I have spells like “written words” and “psychological plea” and “imaginary atomizer”, sounds pretty strong. Time to live a charmed life where all I do is solve problems for people through raw virtue and get rewarded for it! Hopefully being stuck in a duckstack section doesn’t imply that all my actions are meaningless! That would a be a cruel joke!

History

Hot dog week

I’m not sure what happened but we caught just the tail end of our son telling my dad and laughing “You cannot teach walnuts to play, walnuts are a FOOD!”

We had hot dogs this week, and looked over to find our son just shivering and shivering in place. What had happened? He had bitten into a hot dog overloaded with mustard.

We also had ice cream this week. I shared mine with the toddler, who did a little shimy with her mouth open while waiting for the next bite.

Son to baby, unprompted: “Don’t let anybody cut you in half”. Baby is going to get such practical life advice growing up

The kids have started putting their hands on their ears when another kid is screaming, I don’t know where they get this since they themselves scream, like, all the time

Son asked why our shower was so hot. “oh, I’m just cooking myself.” “why?” “Because it feels good.” And he just stared and said “no. It does not.”

“Oh a cemetery! Maybe we should get some flowers for your brother.” “maybe we should get a trampoline.”

One of our kids needed a minor plastic surgery early in life and we found a great team, but of course the plastic surgeon also does normal cosmetic services too, and they sometimes run promotions and such and we’re included in those emails too. We got a marketing email this week seeking to help our child get informed on whether GLP-1 agonists⁴ are right for them. Something to really consider, isn’t it?

New Damage Type: Botoxic

Plastic Surgeon Exclusive

Plastic Surgeons in the dungeon have been given an array of new abilities which deal Botoxic damage, which is especially effective against creatures with high charisma. Unlike most poisons which do steady damage, Botoxic damage is highest up front, and logarithmically decreases over time, but it is longer lasting than most poisons. When you’re raiding the dungeons this week, be sure to bring a plastic surgeon along, and their versatility should really help you clear the higher levels!

Trade Goods: Young People Don’t Work

As rocket fuel

Read a great substack post this week detailing the decline of western civilization and some of the consequences of that, financially, socially, and morally. Its well written and has apt examples and is decently short, give it a read.

When the Experimenter Fails the Marshmallow Test

Ducksnax

Ballet

Ducksnax #113

1 Previous Duckstack 1

1. I hope Cars doesn’t sue me

2. Or, in the case of some messes- the horror

3. “it is by unity of feeling that we obtain power with God.” -Joseph Smith

4. weight loss drugs