Cheer Briar
Sticks and stones will break my bones, grass and flowers will crumble towers
To kill a mockingduckstack
The Duckstack has breached containment, this is a class four emergency. We are at level red. This is absolutely a code blue. The danger rating is 4. All Duckstackers1 are advised caution, as Duckstacks are known2 to be extremely dangerous under the right circumstances. We urge you to cease what you’re doing, construct a 30 foot by 30 foot bunker, fill it with food, money, Christmas decorations, and people, and cower, hoping The Duckstack does not find you. This is a good plan. But it already has.
Natalcon Retrospective
Some things. we take for granted
You shouldn't have to be an extremist to get married, stay married , and have kids3. These should be basic biological functions of life- but all the trends in these things are tanking. There is poison in the culture. And I do have “normal” friends who got married fine, and are just coasting on what my internet friends would call the consoomer treadmill of just watching netflix and sports and just kind of hanging out, but its really unclear to me how long people are going to be able to do that. I don't know, but suspect, that my friends are strongly shielded by Utah’s culture, so they have a lot more of a “wick” to burn before it sets anything meaningful on fire, but when I look out of state the situation seems a lot more bleak.
At Natalcon, I talked to a few guys who had been screwed over by divorce. And not just a little bit, but massively. One guy’s wife was taking his money and buying cocaine and she divorced and got full custody of the children + child support + garnishing his wages (in a surprise move where she used some “emergency” child support provision to get a court hearing on a date he couldn’t attend, and basically they had several hundred thousand saved up for their kids college funds and it ended up going entirely to lawyer fees and he was shackled for 18 years taking care of a woman who was out to hurt him as much as possible. Not actually an uncommon situation.
As we were talking about this the question came up: “were there no red flags?” “yes but I had already slept with her.” This is the situation with pretty much everyone outside of the church from what I can tell. In fact I have at least 4 friends in this situation. So its easy to be like “just keep the law of chastity” since that’s the only rule that seems to be actually reliable, but people won’t commit to that kind of sacrifice without real belief. And it is a sacrifice- even if you do everything right marriage will be a sacrifice, hopefully a joyful one but not always, you shouldn’t expect symmetrical relationships. What you should expect is playdough- material you can work with, in a pretty color. What you can control is the type of foundation you build on, and in that area what you get out of something and the course it will take is imminently within your power. There is reason for optimism, because these are solvable problems.
The princess and the frog
The parable of the story of the narrative of the allegory about frogs and royalty. A tale as old as time4
There once was a princess who owned a frog. She kept it as a pet but secretly thought it was gross. It would hop around and eat bugs and pee through its skin and other horribly unhygienic things and one day she decided to get rid of it. “Kiss me goodbye” said the frog.
For her part, the princess held her composure remarkably well for a girl whose frog had just started speaking to her. But of course she said no. It didn't even cross her mind that she would have any obligation to extend or increase the relationship with an inferior being, and the frog hopped away full of resentment. But he would have resented her anyway if we're being honest.
He later found a froggy wife who he had a lot of kids with and who kissed him and he turned into a human prince, which made their relationship a lot more awkward, but to his credit he was a gentleman about it. While they never quite saw eye to eye again, they raised a great family of hybrid freaks and when they died were buried arm in arm kinda.
By contrast, the princess was buried surrounded by concentric hoards of potential suitors who were also buried in a circle around her and she spent most of her afterlife wishing for more space. It was her way of appreciating what she had.
The End
History
The house flooded5 but it was only like .001 inches of water so we did not drown.
Jethro asked something, I don’t remember what it was but it was a silly one, and we were like “why do you ask us such questions?” and he smiled and said “because I’m a weirdo!” I don’t know where he learned that word but I suppose if he’s my boy he better get used to owning it sooner rather than later
We asked if Jethro wanted to say anything for the Christmas cards. He said yes, here is what he wants you to know: “Please be happy.” So. Don’t disappoint him.
My wife: “physically, I hurt.” Jethro, from across the room: “Physically I hate that.”
My wife was in the bathroom and suddenly she heard a voice: “Here you go mama.” and the toddler started sliding pistachios under the door
Jethro wants to make cookies with "white chocolate AND brown chocolate so that you can taste them BOTH!”. And also green chocolate. And any other colors of chocolate he can make up in the next few days.
A Duckstack Christmas Carol
100% not plagiarized6
‘Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the mome raths outgrabe
bah humbug said the scroogy man, and they took him to the past, with jaws that bite and claws that catch and frumious bandersnatch’7
beware the present ghosts my son in uffish thought you’ll stay awhile, then the ghost of future with eyes of flame will come whiffling at you through and through and snicker snack, leave you dead and with your head will go galumphing back.
but scroogy said “no, that’s not for me” and frabjuous day Callooh! Callay! it all had been a dream!
‘Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the mome raths outgrabe
Ducksnax
joy
That’s you
By the state of California
call me old fashioned
“how old is time, anyway?” six.
House flood number 18 this year probably
Or your money back
bandersnatches