Just read this, after reading the now-current Duckstack (Unmentioned Question Detention), and I was struck by a thought. Social media doesn't really form social relationships - it forms parasocial relationships, which are kind of the Diet Coke version of actually having a connection with someone but it's tenuous and ephemeral and it doesn't lead to someone helping you move a couch. In the same way, maybe current dating doesn't really lead to romantic relationships. Maybe it leads to pararomantic relationships, where people don't know what to expect and everyone's hand is on an eject lever and if there's too much / not enough chaos / stability / stimulation, then someone pulls that lever and the relationship ends, often with the other partner wondering what happened or went wrong and fueling a million TikTok accounts.
That's a place where people can get addicted. They are seeking for sustenance, and neither the para-social nor the para-romantic can actually provide it. So their hearts and minds starve even though their emotional and mental (and often physical) bellies are full of stuff, but the stuff isn't that which can provide fuel / life / energy.
A good reminder to spend my time and energy in better places. Thank you.
Just read this, after reading the now-current Duckstack (Unmentioned Question Detention), and I was struck by a thought. Social media doesn't really form social relationships - it forms parasocial relationships, which are kind of the Diet Coke version of actually having a connection with someone but it's tenuous and ephemeral and it doesn't lead to someone helping you move a couch. In the same way, maybe current dating doesn't really lead to romantic relationships. Maybe it leads to pararomantic relationships, where people don't know what to expect and everyone's hand is on an eject lever and if there's too much / not enough chaos / stability / stimulation, then someone pulls that lever and the relationship ends, often with the other partner wondering what happened or went wrong and fueling a million TikTok accounts.
That's a place where people can get addicted. They are seeking for sustenance, and neither the para-social nor the para-romantic can actually provide it. So their hearts and minds starve even though their emotional and mental (and often physical) bellies are full of stuff, but the stuff isn't that which can provide fuel / life / energy.
A good reminder to spend my time and energy in better places. Thank you.