Rumble Grumble
Edible grindstones aid in digestion
A duckstack in motion tends to stay in motion
Its that time of year again, yes, the time of year when we host the first ever Duckstack Demolition derby. We're putting all 123 Duckstacks in cars and setting them on fire- Better take out the other cars fast!
Natalcon Retrospective: Finding a Good Partner
Many have asked: Do girls exist? Our answer: No1
It is folk wisdom among men that women will lie about their preferences, especially when giving men dating advice. In some ways this makes sense to me- If you give someone power, you don't know if they can be trusted not to misuse it, or in other words there are no female pick-up-artist teachers. Usually the girls in my high school would give advice sort of like “just be a good person and she's sure to love you!” Which I don't think ever even once worked to get the guy the girl. I don't think this is intentional lying though, I think the girls just have faith that being a good person would solve things. Whatever “being a good person” means. I have a lot of issues with that phrase.
On another level, I think women are actually pretty straightforward. When I ask what's wrong with men, they say men are immature. When I ask what they want from marriage, they say support and stability. These answers are pretty universal and both seem pretty obviously true.
One Natalcon workshop was on the subject of “how to find a good partner”. It is not an easy problem and it is getting harder. We talked about success stories and the common theme was that they were really weird.
For example, one guy told about a friend who would try to meet girls in bars, apparently he would go up to girls and say “Hi I’m Jason, I'm looking for wife.” That was his pickup line. Apparently it sorted uninterested girls really fast and he found a girl that was like “well alright” and they dated and married and its going well.
I don’t think I ever pulled anything like that while I was still dating but there is definitely something to the idea of boldness. Of course you need to be able to manage it with confidence, but something I have come to believe is that the more dysfunctional your culture is, the more extreme you have to be to find a good wife/husband.
I don’t think there’s anything more important. Not religiously, not socially, not economically. And not just marriage, but marrying well. Everyone agrees dating is harder and much worse today- but the stakes of a good marriage are also rising as well. I think anyone who wants to save themselves is going to have to get pretty creative, and they’re going to have to get very bold. If there’s no one to date around you I say move. There’s nothing more important that finding a good spouse as quickly as possible. Every minute you are not working towards that goal is a minute on the tail end of your life without your children and Love, and we would be lying if we didn’t acknowledge there are some real gates that close as we age. The only guys (and girls) who make it are going to be insane.
If you’re worried about HR firing you for asking out a coworker you should line up another job and then ask your cute coworker out. If you see a girl that’s cute you should always ask her number. You need to be so comfortable with failure that your success margin focuses like a laser to the best matches possible.
And you see the inverse effect with divorces- a lot of very average people in the middle seem to have no trouble getting married, but they seem to have quite a lot of difficulty staying married. There’s poison in the water, as it were. The extreme people are starting to come away with a lot more victory spoils when they win. That’s what I’m seeing. If you’re having trouble dating: You need to get more extreme.
My friend Bennett did a podcast episode of his own for a Natalcon retrospect, and like in most things he is very clear and articulate. I think its worth taking a listen to.
Hsortyr
Christmas lights are UP (1/10th of our total supply) (maybe next week.)
Jethro was telling us the story about the four little pigs. Its not much different except two of the pigs built houses out of sticks and bricks and two of the pigs built houses out of peanut butter and slime.
More baby names from Jethro: “Waggles the dog”
We told our toddler to stop flipping off the couch head first with something like "omgosh you are going to DIE!" And the toddler did listen to us. A few minutes later he was playing with a teddy bear: "you want a burger? om nom nom!” and pantomimed feeding it. “You want a sandwich? Ahmm nom nom!” and pantomimed feeding it. :You want to die?" and chucked the teddy bear off the couch
"Mama, my brother took something away from me" "Did he have it first?" "Yes"
This week, one of the children made gingerbread houses, and the other of the children ate gingerbread houses. To each his own.
The toddler after running into the room: “I not quiet!” He’s a perceptive little boy
HOROSCOPES
Classic Horoscopes, fresh off the donut line
We receive a number2 of complaints each week regarding our weekly3 horoscopes segment. The haters say “Duck, I think your horoscopes are made up.” Oh? Can you read the stars? You’re free to doubt the veracity of our horoscopes. Even if I regularly tell you otherwise. And I challenge any of you to put your hand up to the sky, and read that astral braille and confirm my results. But be forewarned: We have heard that stars are very hot
Orion: Orion the warrior constellation is known for conflict. He has a sword and shield or something, and is always fighting. He needs to calm down! You may notice that your life is louder than normal because he is always shouting. The Duckstack recommends: earplugs. With Duckstack brand earplugs your eardrums will be safe, order yours today!
The Big Dipper: What is your horoscope? As always, wealth. We forecast you winning the lottery for the 37th time in a row, congratulations! Don’t spend it all in once place this time, okay?
The North Star: If The North Star is your sign of the zodiac, you may find yourself growing more anxious this week, as its radiation output increases closer to Christmas. The very Earth may feel like it is pushing you, turning ever so microscopically harder to reach that blessed holiday. We recommend: Getting some anchors or maybe like foot spikes or whatever to mitigate the risk of being thrown off into space.
Ursa Major: I can bearly believe it. Your horoscope this week is nearly unbearable. But bear with me, because the truth will finally be laid bear. With bearing upon ever axis of your life, you will truly want to bear it in mind throughout the week. You see, Ursa Major? he is sleeping
Orion but just his belt: Your north stars as it were, when they are north of you (sometimes they will be lying) point straight and true (in whatever direction). By the mouth of three witnesses they agree, a trinity of starlight with a single proclamation: keep your pants up. Do with this information what you will. The CIA will likely be after you
The Milky Way: A somewhat lesser-known constellation involving every single star in the galaxy, The Milky Way is the zodiac sign of exactly one person. I don’t think he reads The Duckstack so if you see him let him know he’s special
Ducksnax
Frosty
call it a hunch
Between zero and three
because The Duckstack runs every week, not because we put the horoscopes in each Duckstack
"the more dysfunctional your culture is, the more extreme you have to be to find a good wife/husband."
I've worked with the youth in my ward/stake in some capacity for the last 10 years and I'm shocked how few of them have gone on to marry. It seems much harder even for Latter-day Saints living in Provo or Rexburg. We're going to have to be more extreme.
Had a recent convo w/ a YSA. It would greatly help if wards and stakes would host more dating conducive activities. Post Covid. activities still resemble Covid activities. Next to nil dances, Dating Games, Girl's Choice and Boy's Choice date activities, YSA dating firesides, etc. Focus seems to be primarily on service activities and ministering. Extreme times require extreme methods and need to act asap! The clock is ticking. Tic tok! Great post! Thank you!