Duckstack is my middle name
I like to imagine you are pretty comfortable, reading The Duckstack right here. I like to do this for a few reasons.
First, I would hate to imagine you uncomfortable reading my Duckstack. That would reflect pretty poorly on me, wouldn’t it? A good Duckstack should relax and comfort you1.
Secondly, it seems to me that through the power of subliminal messaging, I can make you more comfortable by simply, blatantly, insisting that you are. This is called “ethical hacking” in computers or “white hat hypnosis” although you do not hypnotize computers, you more program them. Nothing against computers of course, that’s just how it is. But the point is, my readers deserve a break, and they deserve to feel relaxed. And so I imagine that they are. I am an optimist, and the true order of the universe is for my readers to be comfortable. At least right now. Maybe it will change later, but for now, don’t you feel comfortable? Like you’re sinking into a giant marshmallow. Except those are very sticky. So that’s no good, imagine the marshmallow is covered in like a thin layer of saran wrap or something. Settle into your cozy saranshmallow and feel comfortable. Comfort in knowing you’re reading The Duckstack2.
The Rule of Law
Do you rule with an iron fist? What about a wooden fist? Take this quiz to find out!
Are you surprised? Normally when we say “take this quiz to find out” we don’t give you a quiz at all and just pretend that you were already given a quiz. It is something of a running gag with us. So its possible you don’t know how to take a quiz. If this is the case, ask your parent or guardian to help you, and then cross reference your answers with the index below.
If you answered “Speak”, then your ideal government is Dictator. All dictators need to know how to speak, and if you’ve got the gift of gab, dictating is for you. Enjoy sending your peasants to war.
If you answered “Promote your pieces in checkers, the answer isn’t propagandist, its King. Congratulations! You have a promising career ahead of you until you are politically assassinated.
If you answered “Roll dice” then your government office is Chancellor. I bet you will host many colorful ceremonies and be a well regarded figurehead.
If you answered wear new clothes, that means you’re best suited to be Emperor! You can decree whatever you want, and you will be remembered forever! Congrats! Except whenever a new emperor wants to take things in a different direction all your actions will be retconned.
Faithstyle
steeze
Some people like to think about faith as “blind belief”, and they like to think about faith this way because they fancy themselves above such things, having empirically proven every single axiom in their entire lives from first principles. Every atheist has a five hundred page thesis on their book shelf proving their mother exists.
The scriptures define faith as a little closer to “motivation”. Like in Alma when he talks about the “seed of faith” which you have to water and give sunshine and not light on fire and stuff like that (paraphrasing) but eventually it grows into a little tree and you can eat the fruits and decide if the fruits are good. So its a lot closer to an action you do, than a mental effort. Not that mental effort particularly exists. More on that next week. But the point is, reality isn’t just mechanics. Even mechanics aren’t mechanics. Have you ever tried to do plumbing? You are literally following principles of lining pipes up but you have no idea if it works. You can run water down them later and know for certain but the actual building process is totally guesswork and at the end you’re like “hope this works” and God made reality this way for a reason, its because if you practice with mechanical things like plumbing then then principles for eternal things like spirituality will be intuitive.
And Atheists like to talk as though God has become obsolete, like “we’ve got science now”. They don’t talk this way as much anymore, because everything is going to crap and anyone with eyes can tell a 2024 car is about a fifth as much a car as something you bought in 20013. But they used to. And it would be like, even medicine is a set of procedures that have high probability of working, its not a conveyor belt or some kind of assembly line like they imagine everything can be reduced to. Its all faith. You give someone medicine because its pretty likely to work. Maybe it won’t, maybe you need a different drug mix, maybe they’re immune or need a radical approach, but the only time faith ceases is when you stop trying.
This secular faith in medicine and plumbing doesn’t always bear out, of course. Because its not rooted in Christ. Which is why the scriptures insist you need to center yourself on him, because acting with an eye towards Christ turns out to be actually fairly self correcting. Even if you start out on the wrong path or from a weird spot, following him lets God act in your life, and then you know for sure that God is a scientist, and he wants you to work out the same formulas. If you’re good enough, he might even give you an internship. But you have to want it. You choose what you put your faith in, and you do it every single day, because that’s where you invest your time. That’s what you’re building.
God loves all of his children’s sandcastles, but he would love if you spent some time on his, this week.
Did you remember your homework from last week? It is time for a test!
Don’t let me down I’m so close to another round of venture capitalist funding4
I hope you took these questions extremely seriously, because we will be using these metrics to inform our content going forward. Also I forgot to tell you this is a closed book test so make sure you don’t have the other Duckstack up to cheat from, in fact burn it
HISTORY
Toddler song: waaaaa black betty BAM BAM BAM
Jethro got a soccer ball from somewhere and when driving home they put it in his brother’s carseat, and he was talking to my wife about the ball and she was like what ball and he was like “you know, the soccer ball, that is pretending to be my brother?”
Jethro told us "noses don't actually come off. They're attached with something like glue. Jesus made us so our noses don't come off.” Thank Jesus for making your nose not come off in your prayers tonight
Jethro, heroically waking up from a nap: “what time is it?” “Its 4:00.” “What does that mean?!?!”
Ducksnax
Balanced
Everybody knows that. Its in the, uh, Duckstack bill of rights
Which you are. You are reading the Duckstack. *hypnosis voice* you are reading the duckstack
I love my car
Not that I am funded, I’m just talking about proximity