Spilled Ilk

I'm melting down the internet into a vial labeled "discourse". In dips the quill

You’re my peers, this is peer reviewed, today's Duckstack is scientifically binding.

Art: The Anthropomorphic Cabinet, by Salvador Dali

Place your bets, there’s a lot riding on today’s Duckstack¹. Whether we win or lose, the stakes have never been higher². Maybe you disagree. Maybe you think the stakes are pretty low. Or maybe you disagree with the first person who disagrees, and you think they’re kind of low, but not that low. You’d be wrong. The stakes are astronomical this time³. So place your bets. The fate of all of our readers hangs in the balance.

What fate? What stakes? We have not thought that far, and tremble to even find out. Reader, partake of today’s Duckstack very carefully. Who knows what you might unwittingly trigger. Try not to read any sections that will negatively impact your future timestrings. Everything rests in the balance.

Welcome, to The Duckstack.

HISTORY

Are our baby chickens laying eggs yet? No

We tried so hard to teach the Little One shapes, but somewhere we went wrong, because now all circles are eggs. "What’s this?” “Egg!” “and this?” “Big egg!”

Little one, your words have gotten kind of hard to understand because you don’t speak them very clearly. “dats okay.”

I stepped on a toy car on the tile and slid halfway across the room, shaving probably one year off my remaining lifespan⁴.

The little one has fallen in love with popsicles but screams when they melt, constantly needs new popsicles. “I want you to hold it so it melts on you”

In childhood development they have these things called “developmental milestones” which are things like “grasped an object” or “sat up on his own” etc. The Little one reached a new one today: pushing the bubbles in on soda cup lids

Consider This List

Consider how ominous.

• Projectile vomiting armor piercing rounds

• Old faithful geyser, that has never cheated or divorced

• Wet boned skeletons

• ryed chicken

• Boarding a boat, incorrectly

• sweating bullets, a gymnasium mass shooter

ANIMAL FACTS

Duckstack zoologists have been scuba diving around the clock at great peril to themselves⁵ to bring forth for our readers the treasures of the ocean. We hope you will enjoy this collection of animal facts.

• Starfish limbs cut off regrow, like a hydra. The most limbs a starfish ever regrew before a hero finally took it down was six thousand⁶.

• Pufferfishes can inflate and deflate hundreds of times over the course of an hour. Their vacuum pressure is sufficient to pump back up a bike tire.

• Jellyfish sacs are filled with trace amounts of helium, and they are very light- carefully extracted from the water upright, you can hold their tendrils like a balloon⁷.

• Clownfish pattern their stripes after the land animal, The Tiger. Their direct descendants.

• Angler fish (also called the fishers of fish), can lie in wait for hours, relaxed, hanging out and spending time with their sons waiting for a bite. Their family bonds are unbreakable.

IMPORTED GOODS

We’ve received a shipment of vital news from one of The Duckstack’s trading partners.

One thing people can do to become smarter and especially to raise smarter children generally is, to read them books. I believe the reason this works is because its broadening a child’s map— instead of their sphere for “how people work” comprising mostly from just their parents, they get an inside look at the narration of many different people and author’s styles. Especially if they’re reading thoughtful and articulate authors, who have high metacognition and craftsmanship, aiding understanding and depth.

Randy of the Egg Report sends a flare through a vent piece here- its crass and condescending and really rather painful for me to read because of how deeply this particular flavor of regret resonates with me. You have a lot of people running around who are children in adult bodies- I don’t mean to say these people are unintelligent, I mean to say they have no theory of mind for parents. This is what separates a child from adulthood- not to see things as an adult, or act as an adult, but to understand the motivations of a parent. When you see a liberal anxiously and rarely even sincerely couch fainting over any standard, whether it is beauty, or chastity, or discipline, or criminality, it is because they never gained or actively reject theory of mind for a parent.

If you ask a progressive to masquerade as a conservative, they blatantly and comedically fail. “Why are conservatives against abortion"? They have no clue. If the progressive is mensa level IQ, they may remember they saw some slogan somewhere and be able to answer “because they think its killing a baby”, but no deeper than that, no adjacent reasonings⁸, nothing. but, 99% of them won’t get to this point, they will say you just want to “control women”, its absurd. Its driven by desperation, but the desperation isn’t to kill babies, its to refrain from understanding because the moment you understand is the moment you see the point.

“In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves.” -Enders Game

So: a story about regret, a story about love and the pettiness of a conservative, about evasions, and mercy robbing justice, obtaining neither. Give it a go:

The Man Who Couldn't Take an L

1. 1 cent

Somewhat Assemblish

2. than one cent

3. We sent a penny to space idk

4. We hired a lifespan scientist to figure this one out

5. I’m afraid of the open ocean, I am afraid fish will nibble on my toes or something or their back will be hard and spiky and poisonous and they will ram my feet out of spite

6. They did not want to count higher than that but it was close enough

7. There is not enough helium to make your voice go high, please do not attempt to breathe a jellyfishes face off.

8. Like, I know a lot of religious people who are like “killing a baby is interfering with God’s plan/will for that spirit”, but there is not a progressive person on earth who knows that there are people who think this. Including and especially liberals who have been told this dozens of times.