Anchors Adrift
If your anchor floats, its a witch.
duckstackRx, there are NO1 side effects
I’m sick today. So far I’ve followed the normal procedures recommended to clear headcolds such as taking a hat shower, taking the minimum recommended dose of painkillers to not become permanently numb to the world, and rusting. None of which have worked, so I’m getting into homeopathics. Chiropracy2. Herbal T’s. Germstone therapy. I’ve crushed up a quartz crystal and spread it thinly across our sheets, which my wife is definitely not convinced that it will suck up the “negative chi” but I told her she’s just mad because I crushed up quartz crystals all along our bed. Look honey, if you want to keep your negative chi and negative attitude you can try the couch, I’m sleeping like3 a rock tonight
Welcome to The Duckstack
Man of Steel
Everyone knows people can’t fly, this movie is fallacious
When you get into the underground debate club culture, you start to encounter the thieves cant which they use to win debates by bamboozling you with their clever tricks, which mostly consist of the word “fallacy”. These are all gatekeeping, to hold normies like you off, but if you infiltrate their culture, you start to see they have their own rules for engaging with each other, one of which they call “steel manning4” which is a fancy and verbose way of saying “giving the benefit of the doubt”.
The idea is something like “actively take the version of their argument that is the most possibly compelling and argue against only that”, it is a cousin to straw manning which is also when you make up what you think the other person is saying, but the other way. If you defeat the “steel man” version of someone’s argument in a battle of wits then you can be confident you’re right, which you would have been anyway but now you can pat yourself on the back for being righteous too. Which is the point of all their rules of arguing and logic, at its base.
Take their much vaunted “logical fallacies”, for example. Are these real? Of course they aren’t. If someone calls Donald Trump a “liar”, that would be the ad hominem5 fallacy, but of course if that’s true it may actually be pretty relevant data, on a holistic level, for what attitudes you should take about the guy. When people are talking in favor of or against Trump, or Clinton, or pretty much anything, they are rarely talking about something so isolated that their character is irrelevant, because contrary to the legalists, character is actually important in real life. All fallacies are like this: They are called “informal” fallacies because they do not necessarily render an argument invalid. Only annoying. Formal fallacies are a separate variant, and only apply to math. Complaining about fallacies publicly is in essence asking your enemy throw you a softball- if they’re actually your enemy, nothing could be more emasculating6.
Of course none of this translates into real life, because in real life you don’t get moderators and honorable opponents. Sometimes people are out deliberately to troll you, some people really are just malicious, but most often people just won’t really care, leaving the poor captain of the debate club sputtering about how they “cheated”. But outside of a frictionless vacuum scrubbed environment of a debate floor, other forces are at work. The main one is convenience.
Giving the benefit of the doubt is costly. More often than not it prolongs fruitless conversations, fails to build goodwill, and is rarely if ever reciprocated, thus once again debate kids are shown to be idealist space cases. Debate kids: If you just give up and learn some new signals, your life will be much easier. This doesn’t mean you’re bad, because there is a kernel of truth to all liberalism: It feels really good to be given the benefit of the doubt, when falsely accused. This is why building friendships and keeping up family relationships is important- an established bond is a bridge or perhaps a railroad, which makes giving the benefit of the doubt to someone much less costly. You can’t be friends with everyone, but I promise life will be really hard if you can’t be friends with anyone.
Duckstack Technology: Rubber
A new section featuring patent pending7 futuretech, with the same Duckstack flavor you know and love. The Duckstack Presents: Rubber 2: This time its personal: The Duckstack
Have our Duckstack Scientists8 come up with a game changer this time? No.
Today’s substance is called "rubber". Its in and on practically everything already, but after thinking about that for a while, we realized: Not Enough. For example, humans. Wouldn’t it be more economical if humans were made out of rubber, so that you can bounce? It would. Think of the safety applications, such as for babies! Football! Car crashes! While we’re at it, all cars should also be made of rubber. It is not like this fake metal poly-whatsit glass pansy paneling is doing anyone any favors9.
Phones can also be made out of rubber, so that they can bounce when you drop them. According to our tests10, rubber is also more water resistant than circuitry. This also makes phones much more effective fidget toys such as at school, where you could bounce them off of your desk or the floor or your teacher in your spare time, making public schools a much more pleasant experience, overall.
Additionally, sports will be revolutionized by making the various objects out of rubber. Imagine soccer with a rubber ball! You could get so much more momentum out of each kick, it would save unbelievable energy11, and then it would hit the rubber goal and bounce right off. I also think football would be a lot more fun if the ball bounced around a lot. Baseball gains are a no-brainer, with an additional level of skill introduced around the bases which will launch you into the sky if you step on them.
Finally, rubber bands will finally be accurately named, which could change everything. You thought they were already made out of rubber? Like I said before: Not enough.
History
We are presently engaged in a game of chicken between the past and the future. And neither one seems like the type to back down.
I want to open today’s history by talking about the toddler (who is little)’s new favorite game, which is tossing shoes into bathtubs. If the bathroom door is left for even a second, he very dutifully goes straight to the shoe rack and waddles the shoes over. He has this thing where after he throws something into a bin he stares at it for a second to observe for, I assume, any possible chemical reactions. He’s got arm braces on to keep him from putting knives and such in his mouth so he has his whole arm stiff as he makes his very deliberate throws, which is very cute.
I also want to tell you a story about our chickens, which we have a small army of at this point. As mentioned in a previous article we keep buying more chickens because they keep all ending up being roosters. Anyway we bought a few more and my wife was feeling very led to these chickens, like God was working with us and wanted us to have them, so we were raising them very attentively and then one ran away through the fence on our yard into a neighbors overgrown jungle garden, which is waist high with weeds denser than molasses and maybe concrete12, and we looked for a few hours but that baby chick had riftwalked. Tried intermittently throughout the next day, and nothing worked. We prayed, and gave up, feeling pretty dejected because it really felt like God had led us to buy those specific chickens. Well, the next day, I got a text from an unfamiliar number saying they were someone we didn't know but they found our chick in their yard multiple blocks away and were bringing it back over. This is such a bizarre angle of chicken returning that it can only be God answering our prayer, so be sure to thank him for us if you get a chance. Also out of all our neighbors I think ten houses have chickens just on our block so pretty crazy that they just went and identified us.
The giant13 toddler (who doesn’t really toddle now that he’s 3) has a new favorite game of jumping on the bed! The bed is mama. He was singing that it was transformers jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head (jumping off mama) and then he lays on the floor a bit then gets up: "Beep boop, I'm okay. Because robots don't get hurt!"
kid running into the bathroom while his mom was using it: “pause!”
I like to rest on the ground but recently laying on ground has become difficult because the (little) toddler has sharp fingers and has been getting into earigami
spent a larger amount of time this week than expected injecting chocolate into the toddler with a syringe
baby's first words: ya baby
I attended church this week, and sat next to a woman who smelled like roses and funerals.
many
Divination using human bones. In hopes that it will reveal a cure that actually works.
on
I, being an subtyl infiltrator into their culture, prefer steal manning, which is where while they are debating you you break into their house and rob all their stuff (don’t do this btw this is for professional debaters only)
all religious rules are written in latin, its the law
I suppose I could think of some more emasculating things if I wanted to, but I do not want to.
pending the attempt at patenting, if we’re being honest
theyre all interns
Ask yourself: “What has this fake metal poly-whatsit glass pansy paneling done for me?” Nothing.
We put phones in a pool, and then we put rubber in a pool. Duckstack Scientists (interns) were used as a control. p=3
Admittedly this part is all theoretical, because I only tested it with foosball and a rubber ball, and the test results were unsatisfactory.
we’ll get some duckstack scientists on this as soon as the resources free up
Its less that he is huge and more that he is dense. Like concrete.