Dive Strive
By moving your transmission to reverse and then out of the socket, you can shift gears into imaginary numbers
what would you do for a duckstack bar
The Duckstack is pleased to open a Little Free Library. I’m sure you’ve seen them, they’re little boxes on corners with free books under the “give a book, take a book” principle. We thought we could improve on that.
The new Duckstack library, for example, is not free. This would be a waste of an opportunity to capitalize on the vulnerability of the bookless community. To give away such services for free is criminal. To keep it simple, we’ve stuck to the quarter machine style.
As a second and perhaps less noticeable change, we’ve also equipped the little free library with a cannon. This gives it self defense capabilities, by firing through a gauss accelerator books can be launched at speeds in excess of 300 mph, which is well enough force to cause serious maiming or structural damage.
Third, we want these libraries to give back to the community, so we’ve equipped them with speakers, so that not only the person purchasing a little free book exchange but everyone in their immediate vicinity can benefit, jukebox style.
So lets say you’re being mugged in the vicinity of a tiny free library. What you as a concerned citizen can do, is slam a quarter or two into the library machine, angle it towards your attacker, and fire a book with enough force to rip their arm off. Then, pleasant classical or swing music will begin serenading bystanders, in celebration of one less ruffian causing trouble in the community.
We’ve installed these things everywhere, and will be using them to deliver Duckstacks, which we estimate will save us hundreds of thousands of dollars on postage, provided we can find enough quarters.
The God of Lost Keys
In the fridge. Of course.
A popular atheist argument is “if God exists why doesn’t he cure all bad stuff permanently”, which is pretty much their only argument, actually. But if you talk about how God helped you with something fairly minor they deploy it thus “why would God help you find your keys but not cure all bad stuff permanently”. This is backwards. Instead we should be asking: What does God’s eagerness to help us find lost keys tell us about him?
Open ended question, and I don’t have a full answer, but I have a few ideas, because I’m a parent and I like giving my children nice things1. The fact of the matter is, if my kid asks for something big, then even if its something I want to give him, it might be too expensive for me.
I don’t mean that God has like, a budget, although there are some scriptures that could be read this way2. I don’t mind believing something like that but I’m not necessarily an advocate- but I do know that if I want to make a big trip or some similar happen for my kids it often requires lining up a whole bunch of little things, but if my kid just asks me for a little thing, to make a glass of milk or something, I’m usually pretty happy to just drop what I’m doing and get it from them- its low investment high reward.
This is not dissimilar to my thoughts a couple weeks ago, but I think there’s more to it, which is that its not necessarily just about gratitude. Brigham Young taught this very strongly, very frequently, this concept of “making less work for God”, though I’m not sure he necessarily put it like that. But Brigham would say, “does using medicine mean you don’t have faith? No, I do all I can first, and then I pray to God to make up anything I lack.” Or Nephi in the Book of Mormon advises you pray to invoke God’s aid before setting about doing a task for yourself. Both approaches seem reasonable ways of avoiding a lot of common pitfalls, and both approaches put it on yourself to show growth and exercise faith. And God works by faith, so its good practice either way.
Having God help with something trivial does not necessarily take a lot of faith, you’re usually already quite stuck and the matter is mostly out of your hands anyway. So you’ve already done “all you can”, in the Brigham Young method. And then you usually keep looking or hoping, so you’re already following the Nephi method too. I would posit this makes it easy for God to intervene and fill in the gaps.
Again not that God has “difficulty” knowing where your keys are, but I do think he has other considerations that we in linear time and mortal perspective can’t see. An understanding that God’s mission is our growth is helpful here- he wants to teach us to exercise faith and righteousness, so rewarding faith and righteousness is straightforward for him, but not if the reward will be dangerous or harmful or that you’ll be ungrateful for. Like if fulfilling your prayer will set you off track, then he’s less likely to do it, right? It doesn’t go where he wants, there’s nothing in it for him3.
You get a lot further asking for God to help you go where he wants you to go, at least in my experience. And if he can smooth things out by finding your keys for you or whatever, I think he takes a genuine joy in that.
The Worlds Foodiest Weed
Zucchini
HISTORY
Mama trying to prove to the speech therapist the toddler can say his L’s. “can say Ls? can you say lemon?” And to his credit the toddler caught on to the game so fast. He says “lemon. Can you say cucumber?” and mama’s like “uh… cucumber?” and he clapped his hands for her and said “good job!”
Like most electronic pianos we’ve got a metronome function, which the toddler turns on all the time. The other day we caught him singing it. With the piano off. ding kat kat kat kat kat
“all the papas, all the mamas, all the <toddler’s name>s, all the “<sister’s name>”
Toddler swinging a play gun around, “boom, boom! I droppe the zombies.”
Toddler talking to his sister in the other room: “you are so cute in the wo-rld!”
My favorite lisp right now is wango. The toddler didn’t want me to close his car window and that’s how he pronounces it. “No… Don’t close the wango…”
Heistery
In any age of society, there have always been people who lived on the dark underbelly of society, scheming and plotting nefarious deeds. You got a lot of these types you might meet out on the street, so its important to get to know them a little in advance!
The Bank Robber: This is probably the lowest tier robber, because its very impersonal, usually wearing masks, and they don’t let you bank while they’re doing it. 1/10
The Mugger: This guy usually stops you in alleys for your money, which is inconvenient and cowardly. A true muggerchad would rob the moneycels in broad daylight with many witnesses. 3/10
The Burgler: Burglers are less picky than bank robbers, even though they’re mostly doing the same things, they’re a lot more willing to meet you where you are, and for this they get 5/10
pickpocket: Extremely respectful, the pickpocket tries to not bother you at all. This is very nice of him, when you think about it4. 8/10
Stagecoach robber: he’s got horses, he’s got a bandanna, he’s got guns, but most importantly, he’s got style. A full show and aesthetic experience, would get robbed again 10/10
DUCKSNAX
Moon
Experimental Feature be careful
Mathew 7:9 Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent?
Mark 6:5“And he could there do no mighty work, save that he laid his hands upon a few sick folk, and healed them.”
“not that God is all mercenary about it”, just that, he’s not going to aid your self destruction because he loves you, and all that.
and if, when thinking about it, you also forget the, not nice parts, such as him taking your money.
“Muggerchad” I had to read twice because my first reaction was “dang hard R?” Lmao
First of all, I always enjoy the duckstack.
One of the reasons I think God doesn’t just solve all the problems in the whole world is because chaos is endemic to the universe and those who receive exaltation will be the only ones in the kingdoms of glory who really have to deal with both chaos and evil after reaching their final estate. He is preparing us for exaltation