Prejudicial Review
Disorder in the court, please stop vibrating
Those who don’t know The Duckstack are doomed to repeat it
Hands in the air, hands outlining a box, the hands are stuck in a box, the hands are surprised! But then they are choking, they cannot breathe, the hands beat against the fourth wall, but nothing gives. Just as all hope seems lost, the hands find a serendipitous doorknob. The hands open the door and spill out of your monitor onto your keyboard. Then, the hands gesture to you in welcome, to The Duckstack.
HISTORY
Carefully Chronicling Choreographed Kid Capers Since 2/8/20221
The longest history in the history of the world
You know how some grocery stores have special carts with steering wheels where the toddlers sit? I do: “CAR CART CAR CART CAR CART” *starts hyperventilating* So, he likes cars. As a special birthday treat, we got him the racecar bedframe he’d been pining for every time we went to Costco. He was very enthusiastic, so excited to get it home, and so helpful, trying to lift it and help us all get it inside, “my new car!”, “I drive it on the road!” etc, And he helped us put the mattress in it, and we left the room, and he told us “I going to try out my new car!”. Shortly we heard a wail the likes of pierced the foundation of our house- we scrambled to our toddlers defense, and he said to us tearfully “My new car not working. It need batteries!” and broke down back to sobbing. Kids these days, and their fancy techno gizmos, he thought we were buying him an actual car! Incredibly tragic, we felt so bad. He was inconsolable for hours, but eventually, I played racecar driver with him and he’s warmed up to the idea now. Its actually (in the end) been a huge blessing to our family because for some reason (probably the cool racecar bed) he started actually putting himself to sleep, which is a huge slice off our nightly routine’s time commitment.
Later this week, we found the toddler, steadfastly tearing up a birthday card and putting the scraps onto his helpless baby brother: “its your birthday, happy birthday to you”
In church, I asked the littlest one, “are you teething?” and he stopped, and grinned, and then grabbed my hand and went right back to intently cannibalizing it
Had a brick throwing party followed by a wood throwing party followed by skeet shooting with nail guns and then another wood throwing party.
“Carrots are too spicy!” insists my toddler, who has decided that food is unnecessary.
“where’s papa?” "He went to get his computer”. “Theres papa! papa you did it! you got your puter!”
I recorded some of my toddler’s play this week, here it is: “pop dose balloons up in da sky, Iiiiiiiiii POP! *smashes toy into the air* you need to poop no you need to poop, boom boom *smashes toys into each other*”
Had Ciara the lime eater over for dinner this week, it was very enjoyable.
Deer: A continued Review
As you know, I have written extensively on the Deer Question, and I am going to write some more.
We recently moved, and the new house has a deer infestation. They’re in our basement, in the walls, in the vents. They scurry around, under cover of darkness, its pretty cool. If we go outside we can sometimes catch them in the yard, and I’ve heard Utah deer aren’t good for food because they’re raised on sagebrush hardtack and broken dreams2, but I can’t help but be curious even though its probably not legal to just up and shoot them in city limits3. Maybe some kind of trap?
Anyway, since we have inherited so many deer4, I think I will raise them for guard dogs, and fill my moat with them, or perhaps train them for war. Deer are known for their excellent sense of smell, acute hearing, human psychology, and love of cheese, so with their great size they should make a great replacement Mans Best Friend.
Mosquitos: A review
They try so hard
Signs of the Limes
Miracles have never been for sourpusses.
There’s a guy in the Book of Mormon named Korihor, who also showed up in my twitter comment section last week. He told me “Oh yeah? If God is real, do some crazy miracle or you’re a faker”. We know from the Bible and multiple stories in the early restored church that demanding a sign this way is usually the sign of an adulterer- A lot of the escapism that leads to adultery also leads to laziness towards the things of God. There’s a certain type of person that thinks this is a really good “gotcha” against the faithful, not thinking that, if God framed the laws of nature, maybe he’s not exactly super eager to break them left and right for the mere sake of couch potato hecklers feeling entertained? God is incredibly generous, but his signs he hoards close, and the wicked who seek signs receive them only unto damnation5
This interaction got something clicked for me. The recipe of Moroni’s promise requires something called “real intent”, but these sign seekers have no real intent- What they are asking for, really, is to be made believers, but without repentance. The classic shortcut seeking instinct but worse, because they don’t intend to be “good” believers even if they’re made believers by seeing a miracle. With no intention of serving God or doing anything meaningful with the belief, the only use God can make of “you-as-a-believer” is to smite you as an example to the wicked. Thus, like Korihor, when God gives a sign like this, its usually of the “ripping out your vocal cords and eyes and earsdrums” variety. Its not God or Alma or whoever just being petty, this is just the terms the atheist is giving to God, this is all God has to work with. Thus, if you want to see great miracles, you must pledge yourself to him, and show him that the miracles he animates your life with will be put to good use.
God is a lot more interested in your repentance than in your belief.
I have never Carefully Chronicled Choreographed Kid Capers before especially since 2/8/2022
Unlike Louisianna deer which are raised on trees softtack and fulfilled dreams
You should be able to shoot deer in the city. Its Utah, its not like people are going to think its a gang fight or something.
I haven’t seen any of them perform like in last week’s duckstack though
D&C 63:11 Yea, signs come by faith, unto mighty works, for without faith no man pleaseth God; and with whom God is angry he is not well pleased; wherefore, unto such he showeth no signs, only in wrath unto their condemnation.