Promise Symphonics
You can't harmonize cognitive dissonance
It was the best of Duckstacks, it was the worst of Duckstacks
Welcome to our new resturaunt! Instead of ordering food, however, you order words. And also we order for you. Hope you like what we decide to pick. Here is our menu
Tympanic
Particular
Chanting
Prone
Depathologization
the
are
futile
So just order up your dish and we’ll make the motions towards getting something at least slightly similar served up. But have you ever heard the saying, there’s no such thing as a free lunch? That’s right, you have to give words to get words. You have to tell us what you want, and to be frank, we’re getting the far better end of the deal, and fully intend to scalp you for all you’re worth. Metaphorically.
But don’t let that stop you. Tell us what you want.
Discouragement: Keep it up
If you’re feeling inadequate, its your fault
Sometimes people feel like things are futile, just because everything they’ve ever done has ended in failure. But this is a matter of perspective. By some perspectives, such as your enemies, you are doing great when you fail this way. Although I imagine that is no large consolation to people who are struggling.
To these people, Jesus Christ has a message for you: Yeast. You put a little in some bread, and the bread rises, all by itself1, by magic, in the oven. And you gotta understand, you’re not the oven. Jesus didn’t say you’re the oven. He said you’re yeast. And this wasn’t an insulting thing to say about people in Jesus’ day. It was a very practical thing to say2. Because you’re not supposed to behave like a cancer that overwhelms something, imagine if yeast just totally took over bread and then everyone was just eating yeast instead of bread. How would you make toast?
The point of the analogy is, or was, that first, pharisees are evil3, but second, that small things and people and actions can have far reaching and good effects en mass, even if you yourself are an insignificant fungus (to your perception4) And we had a saying on my mission, which I made up so I was the only one who said it, but it was something like “it takes on average 7 serious contacts with the church before someone is even willing to hear out the doctrine. So sometimes you’re the slam dunk (into the waters of baptism) and you get to see the victory with your own eyes, and sometimes you’re just one of seven passes to get it there. And I thought this was pretty profound when I came up with it.
Like effort is not an end in itself, and really shouldn’t be treated as such because then you get treadmill like behaviors and neuroses like “ahh I’m doing the same thing over and over and it has never once worked but at least I can say that I tried so that I can complain to everyone who will listen about how unjust everything is” and they have their own reward. But effort is instead more like leaven- the right amounts of the right types in the right dishes, and it makes everything far better than it could have been before.
So next time you’re trying to convince someone to stop self sabotaging their lives and be happy, you can remember bobdaduck’s saying: Sometimes you’re the slam dunk, sometimes you’re just one of many passes to get it there. You don’t need to stop trying. Faith is hope in things which are not seen, and which may never be seen. Faith is planting seeds. A sower went forth to sow.
All About Ears
Have you heard the news? Hearing5
Every human has at least two ears, but what are they for? Well, think about it like a television set from 30 years ago. You know the antenna? Those were called “rabbit ears” because of how they were just like our ears, but for rabbits. Ears pick up radio waves and transmit it to your brain, like reading a book but in real life. You might think this is great, but beware of pride.
Ears have three parts or sections or acts, called “the outer ear”, “the middle ear”, and “the inner ear”, because whoever copyrighted ears had the imagination of a slug. The outer ear is what's visible, and its essentially a giant cone to funnel sound. Imagine dumping soda through a funnel into a gasoline tank. It is like that.
The middle ear has a wall between it and the outside called a tympanic membrane, which means “eardrum” in latin. This drum protects it from harmful sodas or other materials that someone else is pouring into your ear, and it converts that soda to noise, like when you bang on a drum, or pour soda on a drum. This noise bounces around a giant cavern near your brain, filled with stalactites and stalagmites and probably regular stalags too. These are made of bone, and when sound hits them, they vibrate like a tuning fork. The only problem is that they're connected to your brain, which is why you hear sound rather than it just bouncing around your middle ear-room in peace.
These bones are called cochlea, I think, and they have a lot of hairs on the inside, because they're inside out I guess? But the hairs trap the sound and keep it from getting out of control and rattling your whole noggin apart.
So you see that its really a very delicate instrument. There's a lot of room for improvement to be sure, but its really remarkable that they work at all, and I think people should stop hating on ears in general6, because they're usually trying their best.
HISTORY
Explaining things to me to get out of taking medicine. Jethro loves this stuff
Jethro: Guess what zombies come out of. TOMBSTONES! At least they do in zombies vs plants.”
People ask me how it has been for Jethro to lose his hearing, and how I put it, Well, Jethro’s a bit more of a teller than a listener. That said, we got a hearing aid for him this week and when we put it on I asked “Jethro can you hear me?” and he said “Yes” and broke out into a little shy smile.
Jethro: “What does that cloud look like?” I told him “playdoh” and that got a laugh. “It does kind of look like a blob of playdoh!”
Jethro in his wheelchair pulled a blanket up over his head to avoid the wind and cold. After about 2 minutes he starts saying under his blanket: “Where's Jethro?”
Jethro saw one of those cutouts that you stick your face through of a flower. He made me put on his sunglasses before letting me put his face through the slot “because I think that would be fun for a flower to have sunglasses.”
Jethro, seeing something he got for his brother a while ago: “That was nice of me to get that for my brother.”7
Jethro: “I can't believe I wacked my pinata opened! Oh papa, I burst my pinata open. With my muscles. Just popped it open and boom!”
Jethro has also taken to saying “boop” when something is completed or clicks into place. Because he’s a darling.
The toddler: “the baby’s sleeping.” “no, she’s <baby’s first name>” and then he started chanting her name and singing “<name> <name> please please please” while holding his arms out to hold her
The infant: Learning how to poop
DUCKSNAX
Answer
######EXPERIMENTAL FEATURE BE CAREFUL#######
with the help of the bread gremlins
especially to someone who is yeast
I guess I take back what I said about yeast not being an insult back then
Your… Fungus perception.
some terms and conditions apply
coming out as pro-ear, hopefully this doesn't cost me too many friends
its funny because it sounds arrogant but I think its actually really valuable to learn to categorize things this way. If you remember things that you did which were good, you’ll remember to do similar things more.