Skew Purview
I'm a mathematician priest carving 90 degree gargoyles, biblically accurate angles to point you to Christ
where there’s a will there’s a duckstack
There is the saying, with great power comes great responsibility, but this is misleading. The responsibility was always there. Its floating in the air, everywhere, all the time, all around us. What power does is lightning rod that responsibility to you, but you are breathing1 responsibility all the time in fact. You are responsible for reading The Duckstack.
Pipe Dream
The most expert smoke ring would form a full color thought bubble
As you know, The Duckstack has been surfing the web, dodging hundreds of spiders to deliver you the most expert content. You have no idea how many Duckstacks have been caught and devoured, never to see the light of day. Our exterminator didn’t make it either.
So we tried relocating from the web to the net, dodging hundreds of spiders with rocket launchers shooting nets at us to deliver you the most expert content. Our guide didn’t make it either.
So we tried relocating from the web to just “browsing”, just loitering around the internet hoping that you would pick us up, but it turns out most people at grocery stores are also there to browse, and are in fact not there for the people. Our salesman didn’t make it.
So we tried relocating from browsing to surfing, dodging hundreds of spiders who were also surfing to deliver you the most expert content. Our surf teacher didn’t make it either.
So now we’re sending The Duckstack into “The Pipes”, we’re sliding it down the tubes, we’re hoping it ends up at you, and that there are no spiders, but we cannot guarantee it.
Leaky Faucets
And what bathroom would be complete without a few good leeks
“For example: most men have inner conflicts of values; these conflicts, in most lives, take the form of small irrationalities, petty inconsistencies, mean little evasions, shabby little acts of cowardice, with no crucial moments of choice, no vital issues or great, decisive battles—and they add up to the stagnant, wasted life of a man who has betrayed all his values by the method of a leaking faucet.
-Ayn Rand, The Romantic Manifesto
Years ago I was going to get married, and it occurred to my fiancé and I that if I was homeless then she wouldn’t have anywhere to move into after the wedding. Minor setback, everyone has them, I set about finding a place and learned a great deal about realtors and ended up having no luck finding housing whatsoever. As the deadline (being married) drew near, I started getting increasingly desperate, and started looking into rental properties, and continued to have no success. As I remember it, there was about a month until the wedding, and it was starting to get slightly embarrassing, and while praying one Sunday morning the voice of God said to me and said, “You seek a blessing at my hand? There is an app for that.” He was referencing the popular 2008 ad campaign for Apple iphones, but he went on to explain that what he meant was that in all the heavens there is a structure of commandments, and if you seek the windows of heaven to be opened and blessings poured out on you2 then you should set up a lightning rod. He then told me of a scripture in Doctrine and Covenants, section 59 that teaches about the Sabbath day. (The "D&C" is roughly any scripture given in modern times, after the Bible.) The verses say that if you keep the Sabbath then the "fullness of the earth will be yours"3, And I was given to understand that this was explicitly applicable to my situation, the "lightning rod" I needed to draw God's power into my life. With some further discussion, God and I worked out that the way I personally should keep the sabbath better was by abstaining from video games on Sunday.
I play a lot of games, so giving that relaxing activity up on the Sabbath, a day of rest anyway, would be a sacrifice, and sacrifice draws the attention of Gods. So I made a covenant with my Father in Heaven in the name of Jesus that I would no longer partake of that vice on the Lord’s day, and I kept it, and the first couple Sunday’s was hard because it was such a habit. Pull out a game was like reaching for a cigarette or something, just something to do with your mouth4 half the time, right? It might be easier to go cold turkey but I was told Sundays were sufficient.
After a little more than a week my soon-wife and I toured a little rental shack with a group of 11 other couples and families who also wanted to rent there. I think there were probably several tour groups after us also, like I said housing was extremely high demand at the time, but we put in the application anyway and to our surprise we were accepted and were able to move me in and then her in, in the nick of time, and then we had a great wedding, it was great. I had only honored this covenant with God two times. We asked our landlady how we were able to be selected, and she told us that there were multiple people in line in front of us, but for one reason or another all of them had randomly dropped out. All because of a little vice abstinence that God and I had agreed upon.
I’ve kept this up for 7 years now, out of respect and gratitude. We have since had more housing miracles that may have been correlated, but the main thing is that this technique of “when you need a blessing, find a new commandment to keep” served me well. It also drew my attention to how easy it was to slip into video games.
Games are a very easy habit to slide into, a “default” behavior if you will, because they are cheap, and dependable. Like all vices, you know what you’re getting, and the cost of entry is low. Of course, the costs later might be astronomical5, sin is borrowing on credit.
The problem is how easy it is to lose a great amount quickly. One pull of a casino lever might not kill you, but it is really easy to pull the lever again by design, in fact its a lot easier to pull the lever than it is to count how much its costing you, so the casino has home field advantage if you’re there to escape hard times. Of course what is and is not a vice may in many cases be opaque- working too much can be a vice, it depends on your toolset what things you think are worth borrowing on credit. At the risk of preaching grace versus works- there are such things as sins of omission6. How much time slips through your fingers when you're not paying attention? A terrifying thing to contemplate.
Fear not, I don’t think relaxation is wrong. In fact, I am a fairly indulgent personality. And God is on my side, or at least one of his prophets:
Mosiah4:27 And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.
This scripture notes that rest is good- relaxation and entertainment are both good7. But it emphasizes the need for diligence, which suggests to me a sort of awareness, like a guard watching a castle or something.
“Metacognition”. Thinking about thinking. A little cultivated second you, standing behind you on one of your shoulders, whispering why you’re doing what you’re doing. A cute cognitive homunculus assistant to get a second set of eyes in your eyes, feeding you a second stream of information to help you make choices. In some people, this can become a monster, and a task master, whipping them and making them miserable, but it needn’t be this way. You can’t be deliberate about everything. If you believe this, there is no logistical problem.
But you should try to increase your deliberateness. Because having explicit intention helps you keep track of your honor better. Set a timer, if you must. The point isn’t to demonize leaky faucets, not minor ones. The point that is an awareness of leaks brings more time spent with intention, which opens up better choices. You will also feel more accomplished. But the main benefit is this- there are things you want to do or become, and you will get there faster when you notice you’re wasting time or slipping.
Its the difference between explicit and implicit- implicit things are easier to hide. They are useful for things like plausible deniability, which you do not want to have with yourself. You should never be setting yourself up to lie to yourself! “I’m just kind of going near it, I’m not actually touching it” this is how relapse of all addictions happens. Try “I am going near it because I want to be overcome and I can’t be overcome without getting closer” how does that taste? “I’m going near it because I want it to be handy if I just happen to change my mind” God will hold you fully accountable for your actions, every single one of them. So if you hold yourself fully accountable in advance, then you save him a lot of work because then he won’t have to! You will be living in harmony with your true self (disgusting sinner who needs the blood of Jesus to even function)
In contrast, explicit contracts have no plausible deniability- expectations are set and met, and are useful for guaranteeing outcomes. You are the person who you want outcomes guarantied for, I am arguing this for your sake, this whole spiritual exercise regimen I’m describing here is to treat yourself!
Honesty is one of the first building blocks of power. Incidentally it is also the first step in any AAA recovery program. The more aligned you are with yourself, the easier your own motivation will flow through you, and the lighter you will feel, being able to flit about the breeze like a 120-300lb hummingbird which is miraculously still able to fly. I feel this will make you feel better.
History
Brain cancer is slightly worse when you all have colds
We are currently treating the cancer with radiation, which is actually fairly painless so far. He does have to go under anesthesia each day for an hour though, to ensure he holds still. And every time he tells them that he “doesn’t want the laughing gas”, five or six times a day, just in case they forgot. He had it once for an MRI and he said it “made him feel like he wasn’t there anymore”, so we haven’t done that again. The anesthesiologists are very amenable to his demands, in part because the radiology department doesn’t actually have any laughing gas.
My wife pretended to be a robot one time and four or five times this week since Jethro has told her “You’re a silly mama, because you pretended to be a robot mama, and not a real mama!”
He asked me for milk and proceeded to explain in his little lisp that “I have to hydrate a lot!”
The good is that when my wife was asleep on the couch, he went and quietly found one of his stuffed dinosaurs and tucked it into her arms. The bad is that he told his brother “excuse me, I need to use you as a bridge” and then shoved him over and walked across him
I have explained to Jethro that what his radiation treatments are is kind of like shooting lasers to attack the cancer. Driving home from the hospital Kryptonite by Three Doors Down came on the radio, and he was like “Superman? Wait! Superman has laser eyes!” And I was like “Yes, do you think he could treat your cancer with them?” Just making conversation you see, and he was like “What! But Superman is not in this world!” Like He Will Be Having None Of His Dad’s Hypothetical Nonsense In This Car. And I was like “well if he was in this world, do you think he could fight cancer with his laser eyes?” And he thought about it and told me “Well, he can always try.” And then did this adorable hands outstretched shrug that has been his signature move this week.
Toddler stacking corn muffins with a bite taken out of each
Oingo Boingo - Only a Lad
Black is trending on twitter
Best Joke Tweets This Week For Friends Off Twitter
They aren’t jokes, these are 100% serious.
whoops got a little lightheaded from huffing responsibility and now I’m convinced that there’s crises everywhere and my voice can change them
Malachi 3:10 Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.
D&C 59:12 But remember that on this, the Lord’s day, thou shalt offer thine oblations and thy sacraments unto the Most High, confessing thy sins unto thy brethren, and before the Lord.
13 And on this day thou shalt do none other thing, only let thy food be prepared with singleness of heart that thy fasting may be perfect, or, in other words, that thy joy may be full.
14 Verily, this is fasting and prayer, or in other words, rejoicing and prayer.
15 And inasmuch as ye do these things with thanksgiving, with cheerful hearts and countenances, not with much laughter, for this is sin, but with a glad heart and a cheerful countenance—
16 Verily I say, that inasmuch as ye do this, the fulness of the earth is yours, the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air, and that which climbeth upon the trees and walketh upon the earth
Assuming the video game is played by eating it.
One moment you’re playing video games the next you’re going to prison for 10+ years for posting memes online
Mathew 23:23 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone. (emphasis added by bobdaduck)
Brigham Young was a massive supporter of theatre and the arts, though he did advise to avoid them on the Sabbath