Complication Investigation
Narcissist detectives hold their magnifying glasses backwards, to make themselves bigger.
One makes a point. Two makes a line. Three makes a Duckstack1.
You probably have enough Duckstacks to form a good little dominoes chain, if you set them all up end to end. You can topple one down and it will trigger a chain reaction in all the rest, until it eventually comes to a rest at your feet. Nifty, isn’t it? Be careful not to set them up wrong though or instead of coming to a rest they’ll just bowl you right over, haha
Its Only A Model
Here come the haters to stone Ezekiel for building a little toy representation of the United states and mixing it with dung and eating it
In my infinite and unmatched wisdom, I was giving relationship advice2 on the internet the other day, and some sneerers3 came forth to sneer. “Can you believe this guy”, they said, “he treats relationships so transactionaly” which I’m sure they meant as an insult, not realizing that I am way too stupid to get it.
There is a saying where I come from4: “All analogies are false, but some analogies are useful.” By way of analogy, this applies to everything that is almost analogous, for example frameworks. “All frameworks are false, but some frameworks are useful.” This seems evident to me with the benefit of the doubt- If you see a flaw in something someone built (including a worldview), the charitable thing is to first assume they’ve already thought of it. They already know, and have counterarguments. This helps you figure out possible solutions to the flaw, and then if you still decide after all that that you actually still need to raise the issue with them, then you have something productive to offer the in the feedback rather than just trying to tear down their sandcastle. The most common application of this is not NAXALT5.
Anytime someone hits you with NAXALT they are insulting you. They’re refusing to talk about principles, to work out anything cohesive. They are also saying they don’t think you are intelligent enough to have noticed that if you screw the variables up or inject random factors that your one size fits all solution won’t fit anymore. “Balloons full of helium float.” is in no way met in good faith with “what if there’s a brick inside them or they’ve floated high enough helium doesn’t outweigh air density or something6”
So when I say “here’s why henpecking makes both men and women unhappy”, I’m laying out a framework. I’m not telling you to swallow everything I tell you, and I wouldn’t expect you to, because I think you’re pretty smart7. I expect you to think about it and be like “this makes sense for me", or for someone else you know, or only partially workable. Its a framework. You can abstract some functions out of it or not, on your own initiative. I don’t hope that you believe me, I hope what I say is useful8. If its not, just throw it away lol. In like manner, “transactional” relationships aren’t always the best framework to apply at any given time (working out the ledger can be exhausting). But in struggling times it can be very useful for getting on the same page! As I wrote in my rules of respect, some people weight different currencies differently, but relationships can go a lot smoother when both parties feel the yoke is fair. For all of you in great relationships: My relationship advice is not for you, why would I give relationship advice to someone who isn’t struggling? Am I stupid? I think not9!
Granted of course I’m an internet personality10, but I am not in the business of popping people's daydream thought bubbles with a pin11. So its all just asterisked- this is the map I use, this is the map that's helped me get around some of these landmarks successfully. The point of a framework isn't rules- The point of a framework is clarity and speed. So I love to hear alternatives, theories and frameworks that work in competition to mine. That’s the best way to improve a system after all: Theft
HOW DOES SHAMPOO WORK
Shampoo: What are they planning?
Shampoo is a substance that claims to make your hair “clean”. Is your hair dirty? My hair is dirt colored. How can you tell? You can’t. Nearest I can tell this is their business model. But you don’t come here for business advice! You don’t come here for thoughtful critique of Big Shampoo! I know what you read The Duckstack for. Its for the pseudoscience.
Shampoo works, we’re told, by them, on the same principle soap works. Namely, it is sticky, and the germs get stuck to it, and then they get ripped off of your skin like duct tape. Shampoo works this same way, except with hair13. So this gets the hypothetical dirt (which you can't see) off. This all seems self evident, and simple enough.
But what happens with the germs once the shampoo has gotten them off you?
Well, most people wash the shampoo out with patented shower technology which is able to permeate the inherent stickiness of the shampoo and dissolve its bubbly, bubbly bonds with your hair14. It then goes down patented trademarked drains in the shower floors, which, much like fiber optics cables15, which connect house to house and to the internet factory, slurp the shampoo up like a straw right over to the germ plant for processing.
The germ factory runs the germs through various patented baths, which is a science term for “flasks”, which cleanse the germs of their impurities. The germs are then put in a giant patented mixer, which agitates them into a slurry. These germs are then repackaged as fertilizer and sold back into the environment to rejuvenate the dirt the germs came from. Everyone knows this on a primal level, which is why we associate germs with being dirty.
Parable: The Supremely Reddit Skeptic
Once a sewer went forth to sew. “Can you believe this, people think seeds grow.” He planted the seeds and they grew. “The simulation is acting like seeds grow!” he cackled. It was so stupid. He had some other buddies he was helping at the farm, and he snickered under his breath, amused that they thought it was real.
Years later he found himself in a civil war. “This war is so stupid, politics is all imaginary.” This is what he thought as he lugged his rifle from trench to trench. "can you believe these guys think this is real?” He watched in amusement as his allies ran screaming from an explosion. “haha, these chumps think bullets will hurt them, they don’t know its all fake” he thought with a smile. Several of his teammates died while he pointed his finger at his head and told them “its all in your mind”. Of course their deaths weren’t real either, it was all just acting. He shot a bunch of people with imaginary bullets and eventually got stabbed by a bayonet. “This is so stupid” he sneered at the terrified soldier who had stabbed him. “You expect me to act like this is real?!?” He yelled, gesturing vaguely at his stomach spurting blood, to the horror of his antagonist. “I bet you think this is real too” he said, rolling his eyes condescendingly and holding a grenade with the pin pulled out. “BOO!” He yelled into the face of the soldier who was still holding his gun with the bayonet stuck into his belly. The soldier and everyone around him ran away, screaming “Grenade!” “Morons”
The End
HISTORY
A house is filled with the delightful sounds of music and screaming from adults and kids, at each other. But don’t worry, they take turns.
The kid has radically reinvented the nutrition pyramid: “Too much sugar is good for me!”, what an enterprising scientist
He has taken to saying the word “waaa” instead of crying though. So don’t think he’s all grown up yet. But really he doesn’t cry he just says “waa, waa” in a complaining sort of monotone.
But he’s becoming very sweet. He has started carrying around fake flowers and occasionally telling mama “I have a surprise for you!” and then handing them to her. He will do this like 10 times in an hour sometimes but she doesn’t want to discourage him.
His little brother has discovered the joys of putting things in the toilet.
If only we can get the older kid to follow his example, except instead of things, poop.
Our chicken does nothing but lay eggs and yell at me.
Vegan Horoscopes
This isn’t ideological or anything, we are just out of meat horoscopes
Collared Greens: You are blunt and abrasive. Your personality shines when you let it, but remember to be forgiving in misunderstandings.
Mustard Greens: You have a real kick to you that people love, but remember not to alienate those around you.
Radish Greens: With your odd way of going about things, you’re sure to find all sorts of solutions to all sorts of problems, but beware giving people solutions they aren’t ready for.
Dandelion Greens: You add brightness to everyone’s day, but be careful not to distract people from what’s important.
Microgreens: Really? That doesn’t even sound like a green. Okay, I’ll do it. Ahem: You are great at calming those around you, but lighten up, because you don’t want people to think you’re boring.
Beet Greens: I’m beet, that’s enough horoscopes for today
French Rap
Its about staying a family through thick and thin. Not all of it I mean just like this particular song, I don’t know what the rest of the french rappers are on about, I don’t speak french
And three’s a crowd.
Of dots.
free! Can you believe it?
What’s a sneerer? Its kind of like a smartian
I don’t know, I heard it once somewhere, so by definition
“Not All X Are Like That” or alternatively “No Altruist Xenophiles Are Literally Thin” though probably not the latter
“Actually it could be a good faith objection if the subject is lead balloons in space” thank you, die
My dichotomy-mind wants to say this might be a conservative/liberal divergence but I can also think of exceptions. NAXALT!
you are free to disagree, but I’m not.
emphasis on the personality part
I’m in the business of inflating people’s daydream thought bubbles with a bike pump. If I’ve done this to you, don’t worry, its free. I don’t know how I’m making money.
its not theft I pay you in respect you pay me in respect we both come out satisfied and inflated like the michellan man. With a bike pump.
it rips your hair off, this is why people go bald. Too much shampoo. How much is too much? Just a shot in the dark here: one ton.
Just imagine trying to pull those bubbles off by hand! Just imagine it. Ahhhhh.
Fiber optics cables use light to transmit data very fast. The principle is it bounces the signals around the tunnel structure of the cable very rapidly, until it reaches warp speed, arriving at its destination instantly. Shampoo is like this.